My Most Surreal Experience: The Man Who Didn’t Exist | The Daily Prompt

Image

(Photo Source)

Written for the Daily Prompt: What’s the most surreal experience you’ve ever had?

sur·re·al
adjective
1.
of, pertaining to, or characteristic of surrealism, an artistic and literary style; surrealistic.
2.
having the disorienting, hallucinatory quality of a dream; unreal; fantastic

I never knew what unadulterated passion was before I met him; I never knew someone could affect me in such a profound way.  I’ve said it before, but it’s worth repeating:  he challenged me and made me work towards my dreams for myself.  It wasn’t because he wanted me to improve for him; it was always because he wanted me to improve for myself – to achieve what I wanted.

I chose the picture to represent what our love meant to me.  It not only challenged me, but the love we shared helped me grow in multiple ways. I’m a better person because of that relationship.  I do my best to experience new things, to not give into excuses… to continue to grow.  I have a lot of work to do yet, but I’m getting there.

May 13, 2011 – we were chatting about me not seeing results in regards to fitness:

 HIM:
In a world that will eat your emotions raw, there is no room for excuses, especially when you’re so critical of yourself.
I wish I could show you; I wish you could feed off my energy and willpower, but we aren’t together.
So when you feel like just “giving up,” either commit yourself to the cause  or just give up.
You asked me to write you an email describing different aspects of myself.
The thing that annoys me the most on anyone, especially you, is entertainment of any excuses. Ever.
 
ME:
Why especially me?
 
HIM:
Because I love you, and I know you are better than that…
Even if you don’t.
So I will fucking yell at you every time you project even the slightest excuse in any direction.
I am so motivated because I take accountability for everything in my life. If something isn’t the way I want it, it’s simply because I’m not trying hard enough.
This applies to me as a person and the world as it could be.

How could I not love his passion for helping me? For life?  How could my heart not flutter when he said that I’m better than any excuse?  How could I have been so foolish?

I don’t think I will ever meet someone else that passionate about life.  I don’t want to; I’ll just fall in love with them, and I can’t do that.

I don’t regret knowing him… or what I thought to be him.  I continue to work towards my fitness goals and when I need some motivation, that is one of the conversations I go back and read.  One day… I’ll be able to push myself and not need external motivation.  Until then, I’ll continue revisiting the fantasy as much as it hurts me to do so. In the end, I will benefit from it over and over again. Whatever it takes, right?

Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn’t need
Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don’t know why
If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
If our love’s insanity, why are you my clarity?
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