I get lost; it helps me feel alive.

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Written for The Daily PromptWhat role does music play in your life?

The first song I ever recorded (on a reel-to-reel) was in the tune of “Frère Jacques”, but the lyrics were:

Watermelon, Watermelon
Spit the pits, spit the pits
Up and down my elbows, up and down my elbows
Drip, drip, drip.  Drip, drip, drip.

I was 3 or 4 years old at the time.  As a little girl, I sang every chance I got.  I was in choir from kindergarten until I graduated from high school.

Twenty years ago (when I was 13), Celine Dion and Mariah Carey were my idols.  I wanted so badly to be as famous as they were.  Ten years ago, I still was saying, “I want to be a famous vocalist”, but I wasn’t doing anything to get me there.

I no longer want to be a celebrity, but I am now pursuing music in my free time.  I collaborate with artists from around the world.  As an example, I live in the midwest United States and I’m currently working with someone who lives in Germany.  I’ve worked with 30-50 different people over the past 6 years;  I’ve only met one of them.

So what role does music play in my life?

Music is sometimes an escape when I need to get my mind off of everything; I get lost in it.  I can spend 4 or 5 hours in my studio and not realize it’s 2 o’clock in the morning until my husband comes in and reminds me that my body needs sleep.  Music is my outlet.

Music also is a social “crutch” for me, per se. I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder when I was 20 years old, so discussing things I’m passionate about really help ease my nerves in social situations. When a topic I’m passionate about is brought up, I come alive.   Most people enjoy music, right?  Well, I capitalize on that. I make sure to mention that I write and record in my spare time.  Most people immediately ask me how it works and they are usually amazed that I write music with people I have never – and probably will never – meet in person. It’s not narcissism; I just need to find an “in”… and music is usually that “in” for me.

Excitement is another thing music brings into my life – especially when I’m collaborating with someone on a new song.  The way some tracks come together continues to astound me to this day.  I simply can’t get enough of it, really.  I may not be the most talented, but I won’t stop making music until I have to.

Fun fact: The title of my blog was inspired by a song I discovered just days before signing up to WordPress.

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3 thoughts on “I get lost; it helps me feel alive.

  1. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Musical | Fasting, Food and other musings by determined34

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